Unstuck Living by Joan Courtney

Does the approach of the holidays make you feel like the 8th dwarf — depressed? You aren’t alone. Many people find that the gala preparations bring back painful memories of guilt, regret, and grief. With so much to do, how can you overcome intense emotional pain and find the energy to go once again around the holiday wheel... with pleasure?

Here are a few tips to make you feel like less of an 8th dwarf during this holiday season.

• Go on a Grumpy Diet. Limit the number of times you vent about a situation to three. That’s right, just three. Or get it out of your system in the first 72 hours, so it doesn’t set up a permanent residence in your thoughts.

• Start a Happy Journal. To be most effective, take one thing you’re grateful for each day. Then, write five specifics about that. For instance, I’m grateful for my close friends. Next, the specifics: they laugh with me, they helped me move (to me, that’s above and beyond), they showed me the importance of WD-40 and Duct tape; they helped me gain perspective after my husband’s death, and they have my back. Emotional energy is the key here.

• Sneeze. And get over it. Often, it is easy to take things for granted. The power went off, and you can’t talk to your friends right now. Move on and make the best of it. Like a sneeze, it feels better to let it go.

• Sleepy. If the holidays usually mean MORE extra pounds, take a nap (if you can) instead of snacking your way awake. Often what you need is a bit of water, fresh air, and a change of scenery to keep your head out of the pumpkin pie. So get the other dwarfs away from the table and take a walk.

• Dopey. Weed out the “always”, “everyone” and “all-or-none” words. Remember, your rational adult parents and siblings will revert back to the womb when the turkey comes out. Don’t “always” think that “everyone” in your family is “Dopey”. Just step out of the fray and enjoy the show. Your siblings and the family dynamics can appear a bit funny if you show up as “Bashful” at the table. Be a dopey observer... you’ll change the rules.

• Finally, Doc is here to tie it all together. Take all the dwarves’ suggestions and have him use his talents to weave them all together. Say goodbye to Grumpy. Hello to Happy. Welcome Sneezy’s outlook. Luxuriate in Sleepy. Invite Dopey into the group. And have Bashful take his good time with him. Each has a place in your holiday experience. Relax and enjoy that holiday spirit! Live unstuck.

With over 35 years of experience, Joan Courtney, C.Ht., is a clinical hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. She writes for Outdoors Southwest and other publications in the Mountains and also ghostwrites bi-weekly posts for Lil’ Toot, the Canine Executive Officer of Unstuck Living.