By Joan Courtney, C.Ht.

Unstuck Living

February’s here, bringing in Valentine’s Day with all of its happiness and joy. So often, I think of Heart Day as being reserved for couples. For those who are together in a twosome, happily getting to know each other. Sharing adventures. Adventuring. Meeting up with friends and family. Beginning to explore each other, with their likes and dislikes. 

Are you by yourself?

But perhaps you’re single. Or widowed. Or divorced. Or your significant other is far away for work as a long-distance truck driver? Or overseas on military duty? Or maybe your partner isn’t into hearts and flowers… and all that. Why not be your own Valentine this year? Treat yourself. Create opportunities to enjoy the simple things. You know, the little things that are easy to do. Make yourself a priority and clear out your calendar for some “you time” in your world.

Past comforts and enjoyments

Remember the things you used to enjoy? The ones that don’t ask for money or take days or weeks of planning? No idea where to start? Here are a few suggestions to get the ball rolling and remind you of some of your gratifying pleasures:

   Social interactions make us feel accepted, appreciated, and understood. How about: 

• being with happy people
• meeting a friend
• giving compliments, back pats, or praise 
• showing interest in others
• going out dancing
• smiling at people

   Supportive activities make us feel capable, useful, strong, and loving. Some are: 

• helping someone (grocery shopping, a ride to the doctor’s or to church, listening)
• solving a problem or puzzle
• telling a child a story
• doing volunteer work
• writing a card or letter
• starting a challenging job or doing it well

  Basically pleasant activities bring pleasure in themselves. Have you considered:

• playing with a puppy
• relaxing, having peace and quiet
• a hobby (cooking, fishing, woodwork, sewing, etc.)
• enjoying a sunrise or sunset
• going to bed early, sleeping soundly, and awakening early
• playing sports
• playing or singing music
• thinking about something good in the future
• taking a bike ride, hiking, or walking
• sitting in the sun

Remember, you’re worth it. Being good to yourself stretches both your imagination and your perspective. You deserve to treat yourself well in ways that make you feel good. Support you. And you can do it!

A challenge

I challenge you to take one more step and extend your Valentine Day’s celebration beyond February 14^th. Make a written plan to include some of these activities in your daily life. Start with the simplest activities, the ones you’re most likely to enjoy. Gradually add more favorites. Or add others that appeal to you. Do at least one each day, perhaps even more on weekends. 

A final note: Being kind to yourself is a real gift. You will discover that as you “gift” yourself, your energy and awareness increase by leaps and bounds. This helps you meet your own needs, and allows you to become freer. You can reduce stress, increase patience, experience joy, and revel in your life. Happy Valentine’s Day! Live unstuck!

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