This month we celebrate “heart month” with a focus on Valentine’s Day. History gives us a different understanding of what Valentine’s Day represents. Its history finds its roots in ancient Rome and Victorian England. Yes, during that time it was a pagan ritual day.

  History tells of several martyrs named “Valentine.” But many people prefer this story of Valentine (aka Valentinus.) In the Roman third century, there was a priest name Valentine who went against Emperor Claudius who declared that young men could not get married. He believed that single men made better warriors than a married man with family. However, priest Valentine continued in secrecy to perform secret marriage ceremonies for lovers. When the Emperor found out, he had the man executed (beheaded) for disobeying his order.

  There was another “Valentine” who helped Christians escape from prisons where they were beaten and tortured. The Emperor had him killed as well.

Another man also named Valentine purportedly sent the first “Valentine” letter to the jailor’s blind daughter when he was imprisoned. It was reported that he laid his hands on her eyes and restored her vision. And according to this legend, he signed the note to her before he was executed, “from your Valentine.” This is a phrase that we often use today 
 But whichever saint (as all of them were canonized) the holiday remembers, each saint lived in love, was kind, heroic and devoted to helping couples in love.

   In Roman times, a holiday was set at the same time we have Valentine’s Day. It’s possible Christianity wanted to draw attention away from the Roman pagan holiday Lupercalia, the fertility celebration honoring Faunus, the god of agriculture, Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome. Their rituals included Roman priests going to the cave where the she-wolf raised Romulus and Remus. They also sacrificed a goat for fertility and a dog for purification, dipped its hide in blood then went around slapping women and fields of crop. This was supposed to encourage fertility in the coming year.

  Another pagan ritual that was practiced was that women would write their names on slips of paper and place them in a huge vessel. During the celebration, eligible bachelors drew out names, and the two people would become partners for the year. Often, many of these matches got married.

  It was at the end of the fifth century, the pope declared the holiday un-Christian and replaced it with St.Valentine’s Day Celebration.
  The earliest known valentine was just a few lines in a poem by Charles, Duke of Orleans in 1415. He was 21 years old. Charles was married off to his 17-year-old cousin who was first married at the age of six and subsequently was already a widow. In those days, arranged marriages were politically motivated. The duke wrote his valentine poem while imprisoned in the Tower of London, having been captured at the Battle of Agincourt. This is still displayed in the British Library in London.                        xxx
  It was in the 18th century that hand-made giving cards became popular. In the 1900s, new printing techniques made card giving easier. However, in 1840 Esther Howland began selling the first mass-produced cards. They were quite elaborate art pieces with real lace, ribbons, and colorful pictures.

  Often the traditional cards had pictures of Cupid, the Roman god of love. It is said that Cupid was mischievous, playing on human’s emotions, shooting golden arrows causing loved ones to feel discontentment. In the Hellenistic age, Cupid was portrayed as a chubby child-like image and was aligned with love, flowers, hearts, and birds on Valentine’s Day cards. 

 Today, millions of Valentine wishes are sent via internet, through text messages, or by phone animated videos. Who is to say whether the old fashioned lacy and multi-dimensional cards are better or not, but I think the Romans said it well enough, “de gustibus non est in disputatem” meaning concerning taste there is no disputing.” (This writer’s memory of this phrase is from long ago early school days.

  I recall as a young child, for Valentine’s Day we would cut out some things from magazines and make our own to give to family, neighbors, and friends. At one point, we were able to afford some store-bought ones. I recall they came in a box as little cut-outs. My childhood scrapbook and photo album that my mom kept for each of her eleven children were a keepsake.

Some of the traditions that my mom started with us kids were these:
  At our dinner table, by each place there was a tiny paper cup with three heart-shaped hard candy mints. As we went to each of us around the table, each person was expected to share what they were going to do (with love in their heart) for three different people. Then they got to eat the candy. We also knew that for dessert, Mom would have made a heart shaped single layer cake. Often it was chocolate with white frosting and lots of gooey red decorations. Since we rarely got sugar candies, that was quite a treat for us. Also, prior to that celebration dinner, we delivered our Valentines around the neighborhood or to our school for classmates. Our Dad made a large, wooden, Valentine-shaped container and painted it red with some white trim. He added a slot for us to put our heart-shaped Valentines and a hinged door on back to retrieve them. During the week, we dropped our cards in and on that special day, Mom would take each one out at a time and give it to the right person. I remember we would comment on some of the ones that were especially beautiful or funny. Mom made a game out of many simple things. Then, we would say our nightly prayers- Rosary, Litany, Novena and each say something that we loved about someone.

   In our grade school room, the teacher had a big, heart shaped container and we would all put our cards in the box for a week before Valentine’s Day. On the last day of school, the teacher would choose one and read aloud the student’s name and they would go up and “claim” their Valentine’s day card. It made it rather special.

  When I got into high school, I would go to the nursing homes and bring cards for the elderly and visit with them. It was a satisfying feeling to have patients brighten up when I came to see them. How simple but appreciated caring can be with very little effort. I continued my loving service of visiting people that were considered “shut ins.” Sometimes the only contact they had with the outside world was my visit to them! I felt great compassion for those who had relatives in the same town, and they never came to see them. At one point, I had acquired an autoharp and I was ecstatic to think that I would learn to play, sing, and write some of my own songs. So, naturally after I had mastered three songs, I confidently went to a nursing home. The staff was happy to see me.

  When I went into the activity room, there were only three people, all in wheelchairs, spaced out, and dreaming with their eyes open. I enthusiastically did my greeting and began to play my songs with gusto and fervor! I was just about to put my autoharp back in its case, when the staff started wheeling in a many more clients! I froze. My hands began to tremble and my head was spinning. But what could I do? There was one lady in a wheelchair who was hyperverbal and loud. She wouldn’t/couldn’t stop chattering aimlessly. Several people around her were trying to shut her up, but to no avail. I don’t know what possessed me to do something, but I did. Unexpectedly, I picked up my autoharp and went straight to her. I put my autoharp up to her ear and strummed it several times. Suddenly, she was quiet, looked around as though she had awakened from a deep sleep. And most surprising, she was quiet and attentive as I began to sing and play my repertoire of three songs with a little storytelling in between!

  After my impromptu presentation ended, many thanked me. And the chatty lady? The staff told me she had never been quiet unless she was asleep until she experienced my autoharp. I thought about that experience and decided that the sound of music can reach places that our words cannot. I was thankful that day for that powerful experience and motivated to learn some more songs!!



 Here is my wish for your Valentine’s Day. Whatever way you choose to share your heartfelt caring for someone you love, be it through a card, a gift, special dinner, or your presence, if it comes from your heart, it will be the best gift ever!
Happy Heart Day to you and to those you love.