I was young when I first saw it. It was Thanksgiving Day. It was an empty chair set at our dining room table. An equally empty plate was set before it.

My mother didn’t say anything and I was puzzled at first but, as children, we were not to talk at the table unless we were spoken to so I remained silent and curious. 

But I found it hard to be silent so it was my curiosity that prodded me to ask Mom before we ate dinner and said our prayers to tell me why no one was sitting in that chair.

She explained that it was for Christ to come and have Thanksgiving dinner with us since he wouldn’t physically be there.

That was understandable to me even though I was very young. And, as the years went by, she added to the empty chair tradition by placing on the plate slips of paper with the names of our relatives and friends who had died so they too could celebrate Thanksgiving with us. 

My mother, even though we had limited means, seemed to dream up lots of family traditions to make our holidays important and memorable. For example, for Thanksgiving Day dinner, there was a tiny white paper nut cup at each person’s place. Inside were three kernels of candy corn. We would go around the table and each of us (eleven children and our parents) would take turns naming off the three things we were grateful for. One of them had to be a spiritual appreciation. The other two were up for grabs!

Every holiday, my mom had us decorate the entire house: Thanksgiving, of course, featured the autumn colors. We had streamers too and they had to be put up and taken down very carefully and wound up on a little roll and put away in the proper holiday box. We used them every Thanksgiving for all the years I recall that I lived at home. 

Somehow, even with our limited means, we celebrated all our birthdays, holidays and holy days. Each celebration had its own decorations neatly stored in labeled boxes up in the garage. They were put up and taken down under the careful eye of my mom.

We were fortunate in that holidays meant we would eat well. In Thanksgiving tradition, there was the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and cranberries, canned peas, sweet potatoes mashed, dinner rolls and fake butter (oleo margarine) a fruit cocktail salad laced with whipped cream and, of course, the dessert was mince pie (ugh) and yummy pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top. Dessert, of course, was only served after all our plates were clean. 

Often my grandparents from Minnesota would travel to the south for the winter and join us for the dinner. Squeezing more around our already full up dining room table always seemed to be manageable.

I recall there were some stories about The First Thanksgiving. The celebration that the Pilgrims had. And then came Mom’s instructions for each of us children to present something. It could be a poem, joke, story but had to be something we invented. My brothers usually came up with some off-the-wall ideas for their part but, for the most part, we girls were traditional storytellers.

 

Holidays were a time when we used a real cloth table covering and cloth napkins and a little log candle holder made by my grandfather always sat in the center of the table. These candles stayed lit as we said our prayers before eating our meal. After the meal, there was more praying --the rosary, litany and novena. I guess you can tell that I was raised Catholic. 

Somehow, having predictable family traditions made the holidays more real, more important and something to look forward to as each only happened once a year. 

After our midday dinner and prayers, Mom would fix a plate for elderly neighbors and have us deliver the meals to them. I guess, early on, we were doing “meals on wheels” and didn’t know about the Senior Centers which deliver them now.

As I recall all the preparations that went into the Thanksgiving holiday, I see how much of our appreciation of special days is the intention that we are willing to put into that celebration. 

It is easy to dismiss the day with a take-out dinner -- eaten perhaps in front of a TV program or televised parade. But, perhaps, if we take that time to connect with those significant people that we love, our holiday celebration will take on deeper meaning and fulfill our hearts in a way that food alone cannot sustain. 

This Thanksgiving holiday season, why not take the extra time to call or connect with people who have been important in your life and let them know how you appreciate them. Their life will surely feel blessed that day to hear your meaningful sharing about how you value them. 

Wishing you and your family a cherished holiday that will enrich your life as you continue to adapt to our changing world. I have often thought that the things that are most treasured are not things at all. It is the feeling of being special and connected. It is with our hearts that we feel the depth of our family and friends.

Make this Thanksgiving Day so special that you remember the experience that day by sharing something of yourself. Thanks-for-Giving.