I’ve also been called a “javelina.” Do you know the word javelina is Spanish for “wild boar” and javelin is also a spear? There it is. 

So, I want to educate people about me from my point of view. Here are some facts to define me properly. First, we are called a Collard Peccary, from the family Tayassuidae. I have a white pale striped “necklace” around my neck just over my shoulders. We are mammals and we wear sturdy shoes- hooves with three back toes which are very symmetrical, pigs have four. Also, pigs have crooked teeth -- ours are perfectly straight. We also have small nicely shaped ears, not big floppy ones like those pigs. They probably use a curling iron on their tails too. Ours are understated. 

Our family spread out in Central and South America (as far as Argentina) and here in the southwest. Although we females don’t like to mention our weight, I’m not too bad at 45 pounds. I hear some of us get up to 88 pounds! I try and watch my waistline but I just love eating too much. 

I must confess that we females can be sexually mature starting about 10 months. Much like you, we could breed anytime of the year. We only live about 7.5 years so we must get a lot of play in right away. My little newborn “Linette” only weighs about one pound and was a little reddish color upon birth. We have one alpha male with exclusive mating rights; he is normally the largest member. 

I hear some of you ladies are “night owls.” Well, you’re my kind of gals. I’m most active at night. As for food, I love to eat flowers, berries, plants, roots, grasses, seeds and, on occasion, a dead bird, rodent or lizard. But my favorite food is the tasty prickly pear cactus. I bet you can’t eat that! I just consider the cactus prickles as little toothpicks.

When was the last time you had to go to the dentist? We sharpen our own teeth; each time we chomp down and up, our canine teeth grind against each other, so we have razor sharp teeth. A warning.

We have tusks that are short and straight, good for crushing seeds and for boring into plant roots, and yes, for defending ourselves against predators. We love grubbing in the earth for roots and sometimes like lying down in the cool moist uprooted earth on hot days. 

We act honorably even with predators. When threatened, we give warnings by rubbing our tusks together to make chattering noises as warning shouts. Yes, I’ll admit, sometimes -- when we’re defensive -- we do injure humans. But if they would keep away from us and not send us their odiferous smells, we would be fine and keep to ourselves. If you get startled by us, just make loud sounds like hitting metal pots, scream, yell, stomp your hooves (err, I mean feet), throw a few rocks in our direction Don’t hit us but, since you have the better eyesight, just turn around and go the other way. 

You would think with my poor eyesight, I would wear glasses. But God was a smart Creator as I have an excellent sense of smell. I can smell you easily from afar. Now maybe that’s why I get defensive and ready to defend myself when I feel threatened and especially if I have my baby with me. Otherwise, we tend to ignore humans. 

Now some people say we “stink.” But I don’t think so. I like the pungent aroma that I give off. We tend to rub against each other’s scent glands to mark other members of our herd. I relish sniffing other herd members, as that is how we identify each other. 

And because I have a keen sense of smell, I dislike the “musk” perfume you women wear. That smell is rank and comes from skunks! Wow, now that is pungent. We have a scent gland located on our rumps, or you ladies would say “derrieres.” When we meet up, we rub each other’s scent gland to smell and identify which herd they belong to and take time grooming each other. We don’t have any sweat glands like the pigs. To help distinguish our proper territories, we rub our backsides on tree barks and the ground to mark our areas. But humans don’t seem to respect our property rights and tromp right over them and invade our territory.

We tend to like hanging out near washes with dense vegetation so we have a lot of things to munch upon. If we happen to be near towns, our herd may forage what the folks discarded as garbage. You might think of us as good recyclers, instead of viewing us a nuisance. 

We are social critters and live in loyal families of about 5 to 15. We mostly keep to our close-knit families. We are territorial and protect our space and family.

Everything isn’t always rosy in javelina land, though. We have some adversarial predators like coyotes, bobcats, mountain lions and hunting humans. We must constantly be on the lookout for humans with guns that kill us. They hunt us for our meat and fur. Ugh. I can’t imagine what a fur coat of my bristly fur would feel like for those thin-skinned humans. 

When we get defensive, we become aggressive. You may hear our teeth clacking (to warn each other) or we may bark, growl and -- when feeling cornered -- we may even charge you. You may be surprised to learn that we feel dogs are our predators and we view them as enemies. So, keep your smelly fur-kids away from us. It’s just the way God made us. Sorry, but we can’t change what’s inbred in us. If you see us in the distance, just turn and go the other way. 

We wear our coats year-round. I know you women don’t wear yours in the hot summertime. But it works for us. Our fur coats are black, gray and with some brown hairs and with that fine whiteish necklace we have around our necks. You females know how to dye out those salt and pepper hairs but we just wear them as given.

Our overall demeanor is docile, naturally calm, except when we perceive a threat. For the most part, we are shy and mind our own business. We are also speedy runners. Yep, I’ve been clocked at 35 miles per hour. I bet none of you women can beat that speed! 

So, now you know the truth to share. May you all be safe and serene; may we be too. And please, don’t call me a pig again!